


What are emotions?

by IsGonnaBurnInHell



Series: Dark!Bill and Pennywise [1]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bill is kinda out of character, Emotionless!Bill, M/M, Major Character Death Warning, billwise, dark!Bill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 09:18:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13097052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsGonnaBurnInHell/pseuds/IsGonnaBurnInHell
Summary: Bill was four when he first noticed the clown, he was walking hand in hand with his mother down the road that lead to his house when he noticed a figure standing at the end of the road.A tall white faced clown who had a large forehead that matched the equally big grin on the clown's face.





	What are emotions?

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo Im having a minor writer's block for DMDWSC so here i am writing this one shot that came to me yesterday and was again rewrote by me today lol.
> 
> So just to be clear, Bill is kinda out of character since this is an alternate universe and all. He's more emotionless and calm about things, he also doesn't give a shit who dies as long as it isn't his brother or those he has labeled as friends.

Bill was four when he first noticed the clown, he was walking hand in hand with his mother down the road that lead to his house when he noticed a figure standing at the end of the road. 

A tall white faced clown who had a large forehead that matched the equally big grin on the clown's face.

"W-Who t-t-that?" Innocent young Bill looked up towards his mother curiously as he raised one chubby finger to point at the end of the road where the figure stood.

His mother frowned and looked at where he was pointing, "no one is there Bill, it must be a shadow or a pole," she muttered dismissively at Bill, who stared at the figure as they continued to walk back home.

Bill blinked when the figure raised a long thin finger to IT's lips and made a 'shushing' motion that his parents do when they wanted him to be quiet.

Bill didn't mention that figure to his mother or father, he also didn't mention how the figure had followed him home that night along with the scent of fresh popcorn and sewer cotton candy.

~~~~

Pennywise. That was his friend's name, the clown who lived under his bed or inside his closet, depending on IT's mood and the weather. Bill was worried if his parents would see the clown, but based on his observations, only Bill can see IT, so his worries were soothed.

Bill often played with his new friend since the other childhood in the neighbourhood prefer to mock Bill for having a speech problem and made fun of him, they decided not to play with him since his speech problem could be spread according to them.

Bill liked his new friend, who never say anything about his speech disability and always seemed to be happy around Bill, though he sometimes sees Pennywise yawned and was fascinated by the amount of teeth IT had.

One day, Bill was drawing for an art contest in his elementary school when Pennywise had plopped down beside his table and stared, IT's two blue eyes curious and focus at the same point unlike IT's usual focusing all over the place.

_"What you doing Billy boy?"_

Bill looked up at his friend although Pennywise was sitting down on the floor, IT still towered over Bill, who was sitting on the stool that was a pair with his small writing desk.

"D-D-Drawing," he said as he turned back to his drawing trying to focus back, _"needsss more red,"_ said Pennywise as IT tapped on the table with white gloved fingers. "I l-like b-b-blue," stated Bill as he frowned in concentration.

Pennywise did a little pout and with a huff IT vanished, Bill was used to it so he didn't bother as he drew more flowers on the paper. When Bill was done sketching the outline for his flowers and was about to pick up a paint brush to paint the flowers blue when Pennywise reappeared beside him.

Pennywise peaked over the table playfully as he slid over a cup of red liquid towards Bill, who stared at it in confusion. _"I like red,"_ Pennywise said with a pout, Bill whines slightly at the puppy dog look that his friend was giving him.

In the end Bill used the red **paint** that was given to him by his friend, and Bill decided he liked the bright red colour that his friend had chosen and also decided his new favourite colour was red.

He didn't noticed the metallic smell that the **paint** was having, and when he passed up his at towards the teacher in charge of the art competition, the said teacher became very worried as the day passed and slowly the red flowers turned brown.

Bill sulked when he didn't win, he was trying not to cry and that was the first night that he allowed Pennywise's rather cold body to snuggle him in bed as he pouted and try to contain his sobs while his large clown friend comforted him with soft purrs and nuzzles.

~~~~

Soon Bill had a little brother called Georgie, Bill was happy to have a little brother. Pennywise however didn't seemed too pleased that Bill seemed to pay more attention to the smaller human than IT, and IT often ends up sulking in a corner in Bill's room.

Georgie always seemed to burst out crying when Pennywise came near, and Bill chose Georgie over Pennywise a lot. One day, Pennywise wasn't happy with it and disappeared for a few months.

And when IT did return, his human was crying in his room.

Pennywise felt a small glimmer of pleasure and held back the urge to purr when Bill tackled IT and clinged onto IT, thinking his human was crying because Bill had missed IT.

IT however had a sharp 180 degree turn of feelings when IT noticed the purple and red markings all over Bill's body that peak out from the long clothing that covered almost all of Bill's skin.

IT let out a low growl as he examine the markings all over the boy's arms and visible skin, Bill gladly gave his friend his limbs to examine, _"whoooo?"_ IT hissed softly into Bill's ear as IT's large gloved hand slowly pats Bill's head, adjusting Bill that he laid on Pennywise's chest.

Bill coughed and tried to form words, "c-c-c-clas-ssmat-t-tess," he manage to choked out before he buried his face into Pennywise's chest, Pennywise growled louder as his arms tighten protectively around Bill.

Bill felt asleep in that same position that night, and when he went to school next day, he was trying not to cry or respond while he being tripped and slapped or punched by the group of bullies the whole day.

Bill's heart did break a little when he returned home to find his empty room and no Pennywise. His mother busy taking care of Georgie and his father out working.

Bill was curled up in his blankets and when the familiar smell of cotton candy and popcorn appeared, Bill shot up from his bed and felt familiar long cold arms warped around his body.

"W-W-Where you g-go?" whispered Bill softly snuggling into his friend, Pennywise hummed an unknown tune to Bill, _"no more pain for you Billy Boy,"_ his friend whispered.

Bill once again didn't notice the strong metallic smell that came from his friend.

The students who bullied Bill seemed to have run in with a wild animal and all were hospitalised...

~~~~~

With his parents so focus on the younger Denbrough son, who all his relatives seemed to love and like. One could have thought that Bill would feel inferior or angry at the attention his brother was receiving, but truthfully Bill didn't mind because he had his own special friend, Pennywise.

But as he grew older, Pennywise slowly faded from his mind and soon became a memory. His family and school mates seemed to prefer Georgie's company and Bill didn't mind, he didn't really care actually and often locked himself in his room writing poems or drawing.

Then one day Georgie returned from playing in the rain, he told Bill about a clown he met in the sewers and Bill felt a memory pushed its way into his mind.

Pennywise.

Bill wasn't surprise at the same night as he drew on his sketchbook the familiar scent of cotton candy and popcorn filled his room, a pair of arms warped around his neck and a soft purring growl rumbled behind him.

Bill felt a smile twitched onto his lips, "P-Pennywise," he whispered softly and the clown nuzzled even deeper into Bill's shoulders, the purring became louder.

Bill felt like a small child again as he rest with Pennywise's much warmer arms around him that night, as he talked about the Loser's club and Henry's Bower's gang to his childhood? friend.

Pennywise had growled when Bill mention about what Henry did to him these past few years, _"Billy let me kill him,"_ Pennywise begged him almost full out whining as IT nuzzled into Bill's hair.

Bill sighed softly, "n-no," he muttered, he had somehow pieced together what Pennywise had truly did to those childhood bullies of his a long time ago, and he knew he should have been angry or horrific what Pennywise had done to them.

But honestly he couldn't bring himself to care for the people who had bullied him. Also he had kinda scolded Pennywise from bringing him **blood** as paint when he was younger, while Pennywise had a face that clearly said 'I regret nothing'.

~~~~~

When the Loser's club spoke about how they all met Pennywise, Bill had stormed into his room where Pennywise was happily munching on an arm of his newly killed human that Bill probably didn't know.

"Don't scare my friends," Bill said with narrowed eyes, Pennywise grinned widely with IT's bloody lips, _"but fear smells so good,"_ Bill rolled his eyes at Pennywise's words when IT licked IT's lips loudly and had started to drool.

"Do. Not. Scare. My. Friends."

Bill walked forward and jabbed a finger into the clown's chest with each word, making Pennywise pout even more as like a cat IT warped IT's arms around Bill's waist, Bill sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"If you do that again I will ban you from sleeping with me on my bed and eating your meals in my room," Bill didn't know how he was so calm that Pennywise was casually munching on a _human arm_ in his room.

Pennywise made a low whining noise before muttering a small 'fine' in a huffy pouty way as IT shoved IT's face into Bill stomach, Bill shrieked "don't get blood on my shirt!"

~~~~~~

Bill should have stopped the Loser's club from going into the 29 Neibolt Street house, Pennywise had tried to separate Bill from his friends because IT truly didn't want to hurt Bill.

Then Eddie had to fall from a hole in the old house and break his arm, Pennywise got distracted by the amount of tasty fear that Eddie has, IT knew, IT could smell the scent of heavy fear in the air and loved it!

Then that stupid human girl that his Billy boy fancies decided to impale IT with a fucking sharp pole through IT's head when IT was distracted by the fear that Eddie was producing, Pennywise never felt pain before and it hurts!

IT was in so much pain that IT had lashed out, IT saw the horrified look in Bill's eyes when the 'leader' of the club arrived, IT seemed to felt more pain at the sight of Bill staring at him with that look than the sharp pole in IT's head.

IT didn't appear in Bill's bedroom for a few days.

~~~~~

When IT did appeared, IT was because IT saw how the female human was started to show interest back at his Billy boy, IT had captured Beverly and held her in his inner most chamber inside the sewers.

IT did not expect Bill and the other humans to follow shortly behind and tried to save Beverly, IT made Bill separate from the others and may or may not have traumatised one of Bills's friends.

Opps.

Bill of course, yelled at Pennywise when he entered the inner chambers of the sewers and ignored the floating limbs that circled around the mountain of random stuff.

"Pennywise! Br-Bring Bev-Beverly down!"

_"No!"_

"P-Pennywise!" groaned Bill loudly as he stared at the sulking clown in front of him who sat crossed legged on the floor IT's back turned from Bill as IT flickered and soon disappeared from sight.

"PENNYWISE!" He yelled loudly and used his hand to smack his face loudly, he walked around the pile of random stuff "Penny-"

Bill shuts up when larger lips crashed upon his own, his hand flew up to grip the white ruffles that were in front of him as two large arms pinned his own to the side as a long tongue entered his mouth which prod and poke his own to move.

"Penny-" he gasped trying to make words when the tongue finally left his mouth, Pennywise growled into Bill's shoulder _"mine, not that female human's, mine,"_ IT hissed loudly.

Bill blinked "... were you jealous of Beverly?"

The silence and the soft whine that followed that Bill's ears strain to hear caused him to chuckled softly, "oh god, I just made an alien monster clown jealous," Bill covered his mouth to soften the chuckles, Pennywise warningly nipped Bill's shoulders causing him to yelp.

Bill snapped his head up when he heard splashing and the sound of his friends, "... We will talk about this later," muttered Bill as he patted the strangely soft red hair on the clown's skull.

Sadly there was no later as the Loser's club full on attacked Pennywise with baseball bats and poles and hell Mike brought a gun along, Bill stood there mostly in shock as he looked back and forth between the pole he had in his hands and Pennywise.

Just when Richie manage to land a strong hit on Pennywise's skull as IT failed to make them fear, IT let out a almost animalistic pained sound that caused a shiver down Bill's spine. Bill didn't notice but he was already moving and pushed Mike away, standing in front of Pennywise.

"E-Enough guys..." he whispered as his eyes darted back and forth between each Loser, Richie looked vivid "Bill! That monster killed and ate children!" He yelled pointing at said monster behind Bill who seemed half annoyed and half pleased that Bill had stood up for IT.

"Y-Ya b-b-but..." Bill eyes darted to behind him where IT laid, tired and weak from all the hits that were rained down upon it just a few moments ago. "Bill move," growled Stan as his grip tighten around the baseball bat he had in his hands, "no," deadpan Bill making sure his friends don't creeped up behind him or beside him.

"Just move Bill!"

_**CRACK!** _

Bill yelled as a pole made contact with his head, and held the sore part as he crumpled down on to his knees in pain.

"Ben what the fuck dude?!" Yelled Richie as he held back Ben who held the said pole that hit Bill, now tainted with red at the top part, Bill felt sick slightly at the metallic smell that came along with the blood.

Bill shut his eyes trying to calm the pain and throbbing that his head was having, he felt his body being cradled by a much larger one, his eyes fluttered open as he stared into a mix of yellow and blue eyes which stared down at him. He felt so betrayed that his friend had turned against him, Pennywise hot breath brushed against Bill's ear.

 _"Kill?"_ IT whispered, Bill stared at his friends, no, some random humans that he once held dear. All of them flinching from Bill's empty stare, which turned back to Pennywise, he nodded his head slowly and the clown grinned before playing Bill back down gently on the floor.

As Bill laid down on the ground as he heard screaming and yelling from the Losers, Bill shut his eyes tighter as he heard the painful sound of bones breaking and flesh being torn apart and the thick metallic scent filled the air. 

Bill flinched when large hands cupped the sides of his face, his eyes flickered open again to meet worried blue ones, "h-h-hurts," he whispered softly before falling fully into the awaiting darkness.

~~~~~

Bill sat on the hospital bed, his head bandaged up as he held the posters containing his friends faces. He felt angry yes, angry that he didn't stop them, he felt sad because they were gone, the few people who genuinely care for him, then the memory of Ben's enrage look and the pole whacking his head made his heart felt empty again. 

Bill sighed when long thin arms warped around his waist and pulled him towards a hard chest behind him, long fingers comb softly though his hair and careful not to touch the bandages, his previously empty heart fluttered with joy there was someone at least caring and protective of him. 

His doctors said that his physical state was fine and he may experience a slight memory lost at worst. But they didn't know his mental state which was already bad enough, Bill's stare was now  blank and empty as his own fingers drummed against the arm that was around his waist.

"Lets go,"

~~~~~

_Years_ _later...._

A young woman laid dead on the alley way behind a bar, not one heard her cries or screams as she died while the bar's music drowned her cries of pain and fear. A tall young man wiped the knife clean with a cloth before setting fire to it to burn away the evidence, his eyes seemed to lit up with a small spark of glee that slowly faded as he cleaned himself up and destroy all evidence of the kill.

Zipping the woman up in a body bag, he placed the bag at the back of his car and drove back to his home. The once abandon house of 29 Neibolt Street was now fixed up and the gardens were cleaned of the weeds and were replaced by short neat and tidy grass with flowers here and there.

It blended in well with the other houses now, almost no one remembered how the house once used to be abandon and creepy, the perks when your lover has the power to manipulate memories.

The house however was like a human, beautiful only on the house but it was to hide the terrible secret inside, the man parked his car outside the house. Whistling a haunting tone as he unlocked the house and entered with the body bag, it was night time so there was no one out.

He placed the newly killed body on the kitchen island before a pair of thin arms warped around his chest.

"Pennywise," he said softly as the hands of the said clown started to wander along his thin muscled body- from dragging all them heavy dead bodies -, " _miss you Billy,_ " IT purred out. IT was in IT's human form, a young man that was taller than Bill and had ginger hair with blue eyes.

"I was h-hardly gone for like a d-d-day at most," Bill huff amusingly and groaned when the hands wonder below his waist and started to fiddle with his belt, "god dammit eat your meal you frisky clown!" Bill raised a hand to push away the taller man by the face, making said man whine loudly.

 _"But Billy you smell like that corpse! I don't like it!"_ Pennywise or known as Robert in IT's human form proceed to try and yank away Bill's clothes, "I had to s-s-seduce her so she could come to the b-back alley with me, not everyone has p-powers like yo- Don't rip my clothes-!"

~insert Robert x Bill making out scene here~

Bill groaned softly as Robert hummed in content behind him, the taller man cuddling Bill. "I feel sore, I hate you so much," grumbled Bill as he rubbed his back and shoulders, he wasn't surprise that his monster lover had a thing for biting literally everywhere on Bill's body.

Bill climbed out of Robert's grip, rolling his eyes when his lover hugged the pillows that were part of the couch, and head to the kitchen to keep the body properly, draining out the blood almost expertly and keeping them in bags.

Slicing the body into neat parts that he kept in boxes inside the freezer, he then mixed the blood with some milk before heading upstairs of the house into one of the rooms which held a small treasure that both monster and Human protect dearly.

Inside the crib was a small baby warped in dull red cloth, their hair was ginger like Pennywise's and their eyes even though were currently closed, when they were open their colour and shade was the same as Bill, they looked like a normal baby if you ignore how sharp their teeth were and black claws that replaced their hands.

They was were a small teddy bear that had a eye missing and an ear half chewed off, Bill felt a drop of warmth enter his cold empty heart at the sight in front of him.

He grinned slightly at the memory of Pennywise dumping the egg one day in front of him, _"our child,"_ IT had stated bluntly, no arguments or talks about children, the clown straight up dump a child or egg in this case in front of Bill.

Bill gently patted the baby awake, feeding them the milk mixed with blood before they fell asleep again.

Bill face twitched into a smile when his lover appeared behind him and kissed Bill's neck and nibbled on his ear,  _"precious..."_ IT whispered Bill didn't need to look behind to know that Robert's eyes were also glued to their child.

_"... Can we have_ _another one?"_

~~~~Random Facts~~~~

~Bill works as a writer and their not short in money because Pennywise has powers duh.

~ Pennywise isn't asleep because he has a mate (Bill) to take care of now.

~Pennywise was actually like half asleep half awake during Bill's childhood days.

~Bill was slowly feeling empty and Ben's whack to his head was the straw that broke the camel's back.

~Bill was made immortal after he became 25.

~Bill and Pennywise take turns to kill weekly.

~Bill messed up his first few kills and Pennywise had to erase and manipulate some memories.

~ Bill killed when he was 21 to bring a 'gift' for Pennywise when they were going to go to a date. _They also had hot steamy make out session after that ha._

~Bill only feels something in his empty blank heart when with Pennywise, Georgie or his child.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo how was it lol? 
> 
> Bill and Penny now have a little kiddo, yay!
> 
> If you wanna ask anything regarding this AU drop an ask on https://www.tumblr.com/blog/isgonnaburninhell and say its regarding Dark!Bill so I don't confuse it with Deal!Bill. Thanks for reading!


End file.
